Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
