how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
