Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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