i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize