1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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