i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
