Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
