how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
