you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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