It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
