Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
