It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize