Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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