she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
