And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
