I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
