And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
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I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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