Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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