He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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