your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
