Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
