i barfeds in our rink
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
