She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
