In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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