we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
