i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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