thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
