I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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