Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize