Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
