I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
