Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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