the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
