He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
