Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
