my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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