yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
