Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
