Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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