If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you will always have a special place in my vag
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
