I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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