there was a trapeze. enough said
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
