i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
