I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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