And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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