mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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