yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
