I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
