Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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