your thong is hanging out like whoa
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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