She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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