I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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