another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dignity is for republicans.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
