she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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