I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
