You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Barsexuality is the new black.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
