he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
