Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
