I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She said her name was "party"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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