oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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