fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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