I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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