Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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