I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize