Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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