I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
