how can u be prego again
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
