Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
