Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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